History
On January 17, 2008 there was a storm flying viciously over the Blizzard headquarters. This monstrous storm was a titan among any storm that the state of California had ever seen. During this time, the lead game designer at Blizzard known as Tom Chilton walked out to his car from the Blizzard HQ to hug his money. Despite the storm, this was an 8-times-a-day ritual that he was not about to break. On his way back to work after a "hug session" with his car-money, Tom Chilton was struck by lightning straight into his shiny, bald fucking head. This bolt should have killed the man, but luckily he was covered in a common 100-dollar-bill residue known as "Douchenikis" that can protect the body from many sudden harmful changes in the human anatomy (which includes lightn
ing strikes, catching fire, drowning and sleeping with Blythe Danner.) Alas, Tom Chilton's brain was still damaged in the shock from what could possibly be the most powerful lightning burst on the planet. Tom, dusting off what was left of the ashes that were once the last traces of hair he had left, rushed back into the Blizzard building to seek out the other members of his staff - he had had numerous ideas to explain.Having called an emergency meeting, the biggest Blizzard minds all gathered around a giant wooden-framed glass table, equipped with emergency hookers under each seating area. Tom stood, wide eyed and eager, with all he had come up with since his brush with death. The other team members stared in wonder as to why he smelled of charcoal covered chicken and why all of his clothes had been burned off. This mattered not, this is Tom-fucking-Chilton. An emergency meeting with this guy means something's up.
Despite Tom's very apparent insanity that was a product of his lightning hit, three major topics were covered at this meeting:
- The new Death Knight class should be impossible to kill in PvP for, at the very least, 6 months after WotLK's release.
- I like Giraffes.
- Achievements.
The first 2 topics were discussed briefly, and concluded with, "Umm, you got it, sir." The third topic was a larger one.
First, what were achievements? And why did another element need to be added to an already massive MMO? After Tom discussed, with a chair, the different textures of palm trees for a brief moment, he dove in; he wanted to make it a top priority to have achievements be a complete waste of time for the mindless people that play the game. The interface for achievements needed to be brightly colored, and also needed to make a neato "SHWOOM" noise here and there, similar to that of when a player levels. With these 2 elements, Blizzard could con people into going through old and current content, and even plan for future content, keeping them in the game without Blizzard actually having to create new content!
"This seems very cost effective. But, why would they want to keep doing achievements?" asked a sane person.
"We'll give them ACHIEVEMENT POINTS!!!" Tom screamed like a prepubescent little girl.
"What can they buy with those points?" another non-lunatic pushed.
"Fucking...nothing! Hahhahahahahah! Now get on it or you're all fired!!!" Tom boasted as he danced the Macarina out the door to go touch Linda in accounting's face for 7 1/2 minutes.
Thus, the Achievement system was born. Through its slow construction and Tom's slow progression back into sanity, actual in-game rewards were implemented to be rewarded upon the completion of certain achievements. But points being spent is still something Tom is not willing to bend on. He also recently married his imaginary girlfriend, Priestess Bobo Cocoa. They have 1 child, it's a pineapple.
What's the point?
It's almost impossible to log into
the game and not find some trace of moron looking to complete an achievement that has no reward but achievement points. People strive every day to get those points up, as high as possible. They are put in the spotlight for having their achievement points above others, and this seems very odd. I won't deny that some achievements are quite hard to accomplish, and those that do complete the hardest of the hard are nothing short of being really bored. I will never deny someone of this. Those that can push through a full 25man Naxx without 1 death are either very lucky, or nothing short of the definition of organized. The major issue here is these points that come along with achievements, and the lack of purpose in their existence. It's similar to someone giving me carnival tokens for peeing in the toilet without making a mess, only to find out the carnival that the tokens are for will never open due to management being hindered by a recent lightning bolt accident... I might be drawing too many connections on that analogy, but there you are. That's the reality - achievements are the easiest way to say you've accomplished something. Examples being:- Reach level 40!
- Complete Wailing Caverns!
- Defeat the Headless Horseman!
- /love after killing an opponent in PvP
The Reward
I've established Achievement Points being compared to a night on the town with your left hand, so what about the actual rewards?
Titles, mounts and pets. These seem to be the 3 key rewards that can be attained from completing certain achievements and none of these require achievement points, just actual achievements. While these rewards aren't things I'm particularly into, I understand why people strive for these. In vanilla WoW, a player would spend every second of every day PvPing every month just so they might have a chance at one of the top 3 ranks, and thus - the title that came with it. Mount and pet collectors have been a staple of the games player base for years, this is nothing new. This is the difference to me, actual reward. Achievement points are like getting badges from heroics and raids, but not being able to purchase anything with them.
The problem is, I truly feel like a madman when I explain this to others. I am seen as a lunatic when I speak ill of anything achievement related. So maybe I'm the idiotic one here. Maybe I'm the one who thinks he sees clearly, but in actuality is so hazed by opinion that he comes off as a self righteous ass.
Ha, just kidding, it's you guys, not me.
The Link of the Day!
http://www.wolframalpha.com/
