(also known as my opinion), you will not only feel better about yourself but you'll feel worse about the world around you! So step forth, into the known for a post I like to call: What Is More Insulting?Who are you calling a pipsqueak!?
Little People. No no, I don't mean that punk ass Mexican outside smokin' a doob and shankin' pigs who is only 5 foot nothing tall. I mean the teenies, the nomes, the stars of MTV, the vertically challenged, midgets! They are all around us! But seriously, let's quit the name calling.
Not sure when this one was started or where it will end, but it needs to stop. Just think, if you were only 3 feet tall and you wake up one morning to waddle down to the kitchen table. You take your booster seat out of the pantry closet, drink some orange juice out of your sippy cup, and get ready to enjoy your little morning when you read it in the news paper, "Little Person Killed in Tragic Elevator Shoes Accident." What is a little person, you wonder, as you read on you discover this is the new "politically correct" way of saying midget. But why? No one wants to be called a "little person," not even Tom Cruise! So why do we do it? Well, if you have a heart, you don't. But if you are a Bush minion, you just do it without thinking, which is also why you love war, hate blacks, and feel so damn good about paying taxes!
Moving right along to my next subject which seems to feel just right for this time of year. The Holidays. This is a debate that has been going on since Jesus did magic tricks and people shouted, "Houdini was better!"(which was around 31 A.D. to be exact). The most celebrated holiday in the US of A is, infact, Christmas! For those of you who have had their hearts stop from hearing the word "christ" please pickup the pace maker, put down the bible and read along.
I must set something straight first of all; people who are Christian; not that bad of people(as soon as they stop tryin
g to convert others), if you believe in everything the bible teaches, more power to yah(as impossible as that may be in my opinion). But if anyone stands up and says that they celebrate Xmas(also known as Christmas) for the soul purpose to celebrate Jesus, I truly call bull shit on that one. How you take a man that was, and I quote, "sent down and died for our sins," and get a waffle maker wrapped in cheesy, sparkling, gift wrapping paper sitting underneath a tree that is lit up by copper wiring, with other gifts left by a fat man in a flying sleigh pulled by Bambie is beyond me. So unless you spend your holiday sitting around doing nothing but talking, reading, thinking, and breathing about Jesus, please, sit your holy ass back down and enjoy your waffle maker.Now that the churchies have their waffles let me move on. I was informed yesterday that the White House spent an ass load of moola on holiday cards they sent out to the "less fortunate" and a news show decided to have a debate over this. How you ask? No, they weren't discussing the ridiculous amount of money they spent to send these cards out. No, they weren't discussing how the "less fortunate" are doing SO much better off now that they have a card from old Bushy, no no. And they most certainly weren't talking about how it shouldn't have taken that much money and it was possibly a ploy to push more money towards the war without us noticing(because it was FOX). They discussed for an hour(holy shit) how horribly, politically, incorrect it was to send these out with the words, "Merry Christmas." GASP!!! Oh Noes! Not the word christ!? Anyone melting? Didn't think so, 99% of the people that celebrate this holiday claim it as Christmas! It isn't immoral! No one is trying to push their religion on others with the name of this holiday(I'de be the first one to yell that out loud). Even I say Christmas when speaking(FYI, I use Xmas when typing because I'm lazy)! So if someone ever tells you that Christmas is not politically correct, slap them in the face like a little girl and tell them Lantz sent you. Unless of course that person is much larger than I, and in that case tell them Santa sent you(nobody f***s with Santa).
Lastly I would like to say that this whole buying for others shit is really getting old. There are only a hand full of people I would really want to buy for for such a retched holiday yet I am buying for so much more... And we all think the same thing on that morning all around the tree; "What did they get me!?" Not, "(enter loved on here) is going to love the pasta strainer I got for a buck fifty and thought, 'Hey, now I've got their gift covered.'" So wake up and smell the waffles!... or pasta... So let's all get a grip on reality and realize that the world would be better off without the stress and yule tide bullshit.
hWo Neds To Be Crrect?
There are many different things in this world that need to be politically correct in order for things to work smoothly. This; I understand. But there are some "politically correct" phrases and labels in this world that are not needed. Reasons might include:
-gay is shorter than homosexual
-black is a color and african american isn't
-midget is more fun to say
-mexican should only be the name of a food genre
-Special Ed can't be used because it's the name of a doll by Matell
-hobo is a much more fun word to say than homeless
-cripple rhymes with mipple, handicap doesn't
While all these points are clearly valid, not everyone might agree with me on this. And in that case, you are infact a Jew.
*end post*
